Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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