My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Drake has all the answers
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
