eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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