I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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