I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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