he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
this is an emotional support booty call
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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