is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
