Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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