I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ladies don't puke and tell
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
