question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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