So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Bring me that man meat
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
