Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
