so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
