I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
