his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize