But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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