We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
