discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
