i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
