Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
