I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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