Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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