Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
