i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
two words...techno handjob
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
