she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
