yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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