Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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