so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
