ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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