I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm passing your future prison.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Randomize
