life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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