my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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