do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Operation Purity has been aborted
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My vagina is officially offended.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize