dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wannas sexs uuuuu
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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