your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
