did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
