Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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