i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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