The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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