well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
