A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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