We're facebook friends in real life
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
