You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I had to cum in my sink.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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