This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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