Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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