I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
