Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
