We're facebook friends in real life
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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