Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
operation have a gay friend backfired
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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