I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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