Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
