If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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