I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
