Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
How's work?
Spinning.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
