It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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