I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Non-Jews are for practice
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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