you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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