she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
